Recently, I got an opportunity to be part of a talk show on Parenting. In this program, Kids and their parents discussed about day-to-day parenting challenges here in USA. After the program, I started to think about the what and how of Parenting. Is it a facilitator role – providing Shelter, Food, and Clothes or is it nurturing our children with moral values, tradition, and culture. Is parenting a responsibility to help kids to unleash their full potential? Well, actually it is all of the the three mentioned above.
We do a good job as Providers. Most of the parents making decent money can provide their children with food, clothes, and shelter. For the second aspect – culture and moral values – we need to do more. In the talk show, one of the major challenges, the parents brought up was, Kids’ Screen Time. When the issue was discussed, kids retorted saying it is their parents who are addicted to social media. They complained saying, parents hardly spend time with them and are always on WhatsApp or Facebook. When they are addicted, why is it that they control us? Why isn’t anyone controlling our parents? I felt that the kids were right in questioning. We need to walk the talk, if we want our kids to use less screen time then we need to demonstrate the habit.
Here in USA, to have our kids rooted to Indian culture, we take them to temples. When this point came up for discussion, kids clearly stated, “…for you it is temple, I just see it as a place where some idols are kept. I don’t feel it as temple”. Yes, they are right, the connection to God, rituals, and goodness should be felt. For us, Temple is a holy place, we experienced it in India and having a makedo temple here works for us. But kids cannot get the same feeling. We need to see through the eyes of kids and go through their experience. We need to make sure we take them to our temples in India, have them drink deep the architecture, the serenity, austerity, and sanctity of the aura exuded by the temples in our country. It just isn’t enough to speak of the importance of traditional values. We need to do more.
On culture and tradition, the Indian festivals play a major role. We do celebrate festivals here, but it is very difficult for us to completely experience the magic of our festivals like Diwali, Vinayagar Chathurthy, Pongal. We need to create opportunity for them to go to India during festival time and have them experience our festivals to the fullest. Or at least, we should celebrate the local festivals like Halloween, Christmas to the fullest form.
There was an elaborate discussion regarding the cultural influence on kids’ dressing. One of the parents brought a good point. When/If our kids’ achievements get featured in a local magazine, it will be referred to as Indian American Kid or Asian American Kid even though our kids are born and brought up here. It takes few generation to have the label generalized. So kids need to know the fact that they will be labeled as Asian American or Indian American and not as American, even though they are brought up here in the US and hence it is important to realize.
In a nutshell, on the second topic, as a parent we need to be a good mentor.
As for the third topic. Talk to you kids and find what they see in you as a role model. If you want them to be successful, share with them the challenges that you faced and how you tackled them. Just like how you you expect your kids to share their life with you, you too include them in the learnings of your life. Your aspirations and determination to achieve your goal is the key that will motivate them to follow your path. If you want your kids to lead a happy life then you need to demonstrate them how to do it.
The program opened up new thoughts. Speaking or spending more time with kids has all the answers!
We do a good job as Providers. Most of the parents making decent money can provide their children with food, clothes, and shelter. For the second aspect – culture and moral values – we need to do more. In the talk show, one of the major challenges, the parents brought up was, Kids’ Screen Time. When the issue was discussed, kids retorted saying it is their parents who are addicted to social media. They complained saying, parents hardly spend time with them and are always on WhatsApp or Facebook. When they are addicted, why is it that they control us? Why isn’t anyone controlling our parents? I felt that the kids were right in questioning. We need to walk the talk, if we want our kids to use less screen time then we need to demonstrate the habit.
Here in USA, to have our kids rooted to Indian culture, we take them to temples. When this point came up for discussion, kids clearly stated, “…for you it is temple, I just see it as a place where some idols are kept. I don’t feel it as temple”. Yes, they are right, the connection to God, rituals, and goodness should be felt. For us, Temple is a holy place, we experienced it in India and having a makedo temple here works for us. But kids cannot get the same feeling. We need to see through the eyes of kids and go through their experience. We need to make sure we take them to our temples in India, have them drink deep the architecture, the serenity, austerity, and sanctity of the aura exuded by the temples in our country. It just isn’t enough to speak of the importance of traditional values. We need to do more.
On culture and tradition, the Indian festivals play a major role. We do celebrate festivals here, but it is very difficult for us to completely experience the magic of our festivals like Diwali, Vinayagar Chathurthy, Pongal. We need to create opportunity for them to go to India during festival time and have them experience our festivals to the fullest. Or at least, we should celebrate the local festivals like Halloween, Christmas to the fullest form.
There was an elaborate discussion regarding the cultural influence on kids’ dressing. One of the parents brought a good point. When/If our kids’ achievements get featured in a local magazine, it will be referred to as Indian American Kid or Asian American Kid even though our kids are born and brought up here. It takes few generation to have the label generalized. So kids need to know the fact that they will be labeled as Asian American or Indian American and not as American, even though they are brought up here in the US and hence it is important to realize.
In a nutshell, on the second topic, as a parent we need to be a good mentor.
As for the third topic. Talk to you kids and find what they see in you as a role model. If you want them to be successful, share with them the challenges that you faced and how you tackled them. Just like how you you expect your kids to share their life with you, you too include them in the learnings of your life. Your aspirations and determination to achieve your goal is the key that will motivate them to follow your path. If you want your kids to lead a happy life then you need to demonstrate them how to do it.
The program opened up new thoughts. Speaking or spending more time with kids has all the answers!
Guruprasad குருபிரசாத் விஜயராவ் 
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